Why I love being a young mum
Being a Mum in any capacity I assume is absolutely fabulous, it changes your life more than you can ever believe. Now as I will probably reiterate another ten times throughout this blog, in no way is this a post to make older Mum’s feel lesser. I do believe there are elements that I think being a young Mum improves my own ability to be a parent currently and in the future.
Being a young Mum means that I can achieve the same relationship with my Daughter (and any future children I may have) that I had with my own Mum. Now I am NOT criticising older Mum’s at all but I have observed throughout school, the children (girls especially) who had younger Mum’s seemed to have a far closer relationship with them.
This mostly resulted in a more open mother-daughter relationship, so issues girls faced growing up could be spoken about and overcome.
Now these types of relationships aren’t just reserved for children with young Mum’s, some young Mum’s aren’t ‘good’ Mum’s & the same applies to older Mum’s. Good and bad in both.
However, if I can be as good of a Mum to my child(ren) as my Mum was to me and my brother then I know I will have done my job as a parent as well as anybody possibly can.
Money … Now due to my partner working full-time hours in a higher managerial position, money-wise we are OK. We do manage to run 2 cars, pay rent for a nice house, have newish phones, normal things but we can’t act extravagantly, we have to save, plan and budget to a certain extent. When I go back to work we will be better off financially but right now I am enjoying my maternity leave, then I shall be leaving my current job and working from home.
Holidays…now the average age of a mother having her first child in England 2014 was 28.5 years old. I was around 9 years younger than this…so when said mother is 40, she will have a 12 year old. When I am 40 Emily-Grace will be 21. So when people say ‘do you not feel like you missed out,’ ‘do you wish you’d waited,’…NO I DON’T. Being a Mum is the best thing I have ever experienced, it has changed me and my life for the better and made me realise the materialistic things in life aren’t important. I can still gain a career, a degree, have a social life (thanks to my Mum&Dad a.k.a free babysitters, haha.) And when I am in my 30’s I will have children who have their own lives, who are experiencing ‘teenage-ism’ and never want to be in the house or off their phones.
Scientifically, the skins elasticity is better the younger you are, so I assume compared to if I had become pregnant with my first child at 30 I would have suffered more with stretch marks and struggled more to return to my pre-pregnancy size (which is proving hard enough as it is!!)
There is a flip side, negatives to being a young Mum
People feel like they have a right to make negative comments, have the opinion just because my age isn’t ‘ideal’ for having a child I must be a bad Mum, think I don’t have enough money or life skills, the list is endless and it is tiresome.
My Mum was also a young Mum, she had me at 18, as I said previously she is the best, most selfless and kind woman anyone could ever imagine. She also suffered with people’s narrow-mindedness. She also looks very young – I was 13 years old and she was ID’d for alcohol in Morrison’s. The issue with her looking so young I genuinely think people think Emily-Grace is her daughter not mine, one lady assumed this and was very disapproving when I corrected her.
Career… Now, not having a career and a little bit of money behind me before having my first child was never in my plans, it does make things slightly more tricky but I suppose with anything, if you work hard enough you’ll achieve it in the end.
In all honesty, there aren’t many negatives for me personally, this can be different for everyone depending on if they are a single parent, financial circumstances and the support they receive from wider family. I do genuinely miss just being able to lay in bed all day watching trash-TV – Kardashian’s, YouTube, below average chick-flicks and rom-coms…you get the gist. I also miss the spontaneity you can have as a care-free teenager, if I wanted to spend £200 on new make-up, go out on student night and sleep the hangover off in the Sixth Form common room, go away for the weekend with friends/boyfriend, eat-out every night of the week…then I could. Now I have to consider the fact I am responsible for another human who relies upon me for everything but when you become a Mum, although you may miss things about your non-Mum life…you wouldn’t change it for the world and more.