I know I am so lucky to be able to work from home, earning extra money to have ‘luxuries’ whilst missing out on minimal time with Emily but honestly there are downsides.
The picture above was my attempt at keeping Emily occupied, in her swing watching Peppa Pig whilst I tried to get some work preparation done…on the living room floor, hardly a Pintrest worthy office space, haha.
When you work at home, it seems to be so much more difficult to ‘be at work.’ I am aware that sounds so silly as the whole point of working at home is so you don’t have to go to work but it is hard to get people to understand when you are working, you are unavailable. Not an opportunity for ‘can you just?’ ‘Will you?’ ‘It won’t take long could you?’
I usually sit at the dining room table to do the paperwork side of things but our dining table is in the kitchen which is obviously quite a communal area, so there are an abundance of distractions. In addition to this, it is hardly practical, our home doesn’t allow for office space so I have to store paperwork upstairs to bring it all back downstairs again. 《 this may seem like a minor issue but filing paperwork is a must for someone who organises everything within an inch of its life.
The things I miss most about a ‘real job’ are a break and socialisation. It is lonely being a Mum, the only other people who really know how you feel are other Mum’s but more often than not they are far too busy being a Mum to be able to chat. My boyfriend is supportive mostly, however he doesn’t have the same thoughts, feelings, etc. Sam tends to take offence at this, almost asthough I am implying he cares less or loves Emily less, this isn’t the case just a Mum’s love is different (mostly.)
Most mornings Sam moans he has to go to work, yet I would love half an hour to drive alone, to then go to work and have eight or nine hours socialising with adults. Instead most days it’s a mission to even get dressed, I do the same things day in, day out…washing, cleaning, cooking all worked around a tiny human who demands almost constant attention. Then he tells me work has been hard or busy…which granted it very probably has but after eight hours of Peppa Pig on repeat, feeding, changing, screaming, cleaning, washing, alternating between activities to prevent Emily getting bored and attempting to implement a routine…I GENUINELY DO NOT CARE!! I care even less that he may be tired.
Then it is a vicious cycle of guilt as I know he misses the time I get with Emily, which I take for granted but it is so hard to find a middle ground that is compatable with life. I also tend to make matters worse as I control everything, I plan a meal plan for a month, shopping lists weekly, budget, to-do lists to do my to-do lists, calendars and organisers galore. You name it, I organise it. Some would say maybe I was a bit of a control freak. So maybe if I chilled and shared duties rather than insisting I plan it all myself I may be a little less stressed, of course that could also work the opposite way.
So I have come to the conclusion a lottery win is required so I can hire helpers to clean and cook, we can both give up work to share childcare and live happily ever after.
In all seriousness, I think once it is possible I will try my hardest to find a job where I ‘go to work,’ if not I may just lose my sanity (if I had any in the first place.)
I intended for this to be some advice article, yet it quickly turned into a rant, so apologies but … it’s reality.
End of rant. Xoxo